ricco is stooooopid

i'm an idiot.
i get pissed too easily
and no i'm not referring to dana lol.
im just referring to my previous entries.




i love my boyfriendddd
hes my best frienddddd<333

i only write in this when i'm mad about something lol
i noticed that.
i never have anything nice to say.
whateverrrr

ummmm today i went to the doctors since ive had this weird cough for like 2 weeks,
he did basically nothing
then i went to new milford and i'm still there now at cathy's house
dana is comingggg soon in like 20 mins

yeah and i get to go to cynthia's new house and sleep over on saturday :)
beaaccccchhh!


i barely talked to my boyfriend all day
i guess hes too busy with his band or something like usual
=/
i never say anything about it but it really annoys me sometimes
i mean i dont even care who reads this
cause its been bothering me
like can't he just give it a break for even a day
i feel like i never see him unless its WITH people from his band,
or at one of his practices.
he took off of work this weekend
for a second i thought that maybe he took off for me
but then i remembered what this week was.


ugh
whatever

i feel like everyone but me is growing up
i just want to be done with being a kid/teenager, whatever i am
i just want to be older and have a job and a life of my own
i'm sick of being controlled by people

i want my own house with a dog and a husband
and a real job
i just want to grow up already
im sick of waiting

i've been so fucking mad lately, idk
people suck dick.
idk why i'm so mad though, like the stupidest shit will set me off
it could be like even when someone just says a certain word.
i hate getting mad for no reason.

and when people ask me "oh whats wrong" or "why are you in a bad mood" i just say nothing because i don't want to start any problems or confrontations because it just makes shit worse.

idk it also really annoys me that i'm almost never alone with my boyfriend
everytime we hang out we always have to have other people with us
like its not fun if it were just us or something idk.
i never used to like hanging out in my house, but now i do cause its the one place where no one else is.


idk whatever

people have changed.
sometimes i feel like people that ive been/am closest with don't even like me anymore.

i kind of miss last summer when all i did was hang out with dana
like it wasn't even a question as to what i was gonna do the next day.





i have nothing else to say

everything is finally coming to some sort of an end
finals are this week though eh, geometry is tomorrow.
my dance recital is not this saturday, but the next one.
i can't wait until everything is overrrrrr.

i think i'm gonna get a job though
because my mom doesn't pay for anything
she cancelled my tanning membership lol
and im not even going to ask her to get me a gym membership
not to mention clothes and shit i want to buy that she doesn't give me money for.

yeah i'm going to paramus park with katie tomorrow after the geometry final which is over at like 930 to look.

wow
my mom flipped out on me because i came home at like 1
she said if you ever do that again im gonna have a talk with your boyfriend
which i dont even understand because he didn't do anything wrong.
she just wants to ruin everything i have.
and shes pissed because this is the longest ive gone
without her fucking something up.

i hate how she cant drop anything
she told me not to do it again and i said sorry and i said okay
but she still has to keep screaming at me.

im so pissed off.
ive noticed that every single "mood"
on this journal is horrible.

this has more or less been the worst 2 weeks of this year.
idk whats wrong with me
i'm so depressed lately, its disgusting.
i havent eaten a meal since like...a long time ago.

i hope that this weekend is good
well i know its not gonna be.
but atleast i hope i can "rekindle"
friendships that ive had with people that just kind of got lost in
me having a boyfriend and other people doing their own thing.

yeah, so im really bored
and my pants are in the dryer.
i think i'm going to waldwick tonight?

who knows,
cause riccoooo wont wake up
and tell me what we're doing lol.



um yeah, fuck i left my waffles downstairs in the toaster.